Not getting any younger...

So after word from the doctor that our experience with Harper wasn't something we should expect with a future pregnancy, we decide we weren't getting any younger and starting our family here on Earth was something we really wanted. That being said, we decided we wouldn't not try to get pregnant. We would let nature run its course. In the meantime we were going to make the most of an eventful spring we had planned!



After Harper, we went on a couple trips that were so needed for us to have US TIME and a break from grief.  After returning to school for a few days before spring break we went to Las Vegas for Spring Break. I am sure I written about this before, but we love a resort on Lake Las Vegas so whenever we need an escape without much planning we usually go there.  IT WAS SO NEEDED!  We spent days at the pool, and on our last day we did Las Vegas like we were tourists, even needing to buy me some more supportive shoes because we were walking everywhere! I am just going to upload a few pictures from the trip to keep for memories.  It was honestly so nice to be together just the two of us, in a place we love the go to, and reconnect and refocus.  A time to focus on just the joys and fun of being together and finding joy again in this new reality.    

            

When we returned to Utah our next event was our little brother's wedding later in the month of April. Zach and Sarah were married on April 20th.  It was a BEAUTIFUL DAY! I was lucky enough to get my endowments out earlier that week on the 16th so I was able to attend their sealing in the Jordan River Temple.  I was excited and anxious for the wedding.  I know, a wedding isn't about me, but this would be the first family event after losing Harper.  I was so anxious for the hugs, sad faces, little moments when someone might bring Harper up, or remind me of my grief.  It isn't that I didn't want to celebrate her, but so soon after losing her, I just wanted to be normal.  My anxiety showed up in how I was going to look. Was my dress okay, make up? hair?  Poor Mike had to deal with me trying to look as put together as possible, because if I looked it on the outside, I could be it on the inside.  Of course the build up to events is always worse than the actual event, after all, it wasn't about me.  It was a BEAUTIFUL day celebrating Zach and Sarah.  And Mike and I looked great :) 

These are from my endowment earlier that week! A really great memory with family.  Lindsey and Jeff were also there, but they left before the photo shoot :)